Transitions. Change. Just reading these simple words can stir up a wave of feelings. We are creatures of habit and generally do not embrace big changes. It’s uncomfortable and unsettling for sure. It’s hard to stay grounded during change in our lives. To move with the momentum, go with the flow, surrender control and trust… these are all big lessons in learning to navigate change with ease and grace.
I’ve personally been through a tremendous amount of change in such a short period. Since 2017, I’ve lived in 4 different places (5 if you include extended house sitting) and have had to move my farm of 3 years and start over. I’ve also experienced the loss of two major relationships.
It’s been a whirlwind to navigate all of this uprooting and re-aligning while maintaining and running this business on my own. I’ve somehow managed to stay above it all, positively, and have allowed myself to grow from these changes. I’ve learned so much about myself and about life. The learning and growing continues!
I am preparing to move…. Again. When I moved to my place in Winters in October 2018, I knew it was not a long term situation, but I did not expect to move after a short year. I started a farm up from scratch and poured my energy into the land. Even though I will be taking the farm down, and everything will get mowed, I do not regret it one bit. One of the best things about starting a farm over completely has been the opportunity to document my process of starting without tillage. I’ve always wanted to share exactly how to get started! Even though it was beyond my comfort zone, I recorded little intervals of my process to show and encourage others that it is possible to start growing this way. These videos can be seen on my YouTube channel.
I don’t feel that my exact reasons for moving need to be stated, but do know that this is a positive change in my life… one that is going to create so much space within myself for new opportunities to unfold.
I will be making my move back to Davis and living among community. I will be neighbors to some of my dearest friends and be able to walk to their houses. This will be such a positive change for Nalin as well to experience this and live closer to other kids as well as to his father.
I will not have a flower farm anymore for the foreseeable future. This is something I am still making peace with. I will, however, have a garden and several of them! I will be able to grow shade-loving perennials, which I am beyond excited about. I will grow more food, herbs, and other ornamentals and natives in addition to flowers. I’ve been gardening for as long as I can remember and to cultivate a garden, instead of a production farm, feels like a welcomed change of pace. It feels like it will be more relaxed and less stressful. My garden will have a particular flow and movement to it unlike the rigidity of the farm with straight rows. I’m actually really looking forward to this change!
I will not be letting go of farming completely. I plan to work for other local farmers and use my skill set to help others. I will also be freelancing more as a designer. I am open to taking on some weddings of my own as well as teaching workshops. The one aspect I will be letting go of with the farm is bouquet making. This is unfortunate as it’s been one of my favorite tasks of this business! However, I will probably fill this creative urge by continuing to make seasonal holiday bouquets with all local and California grown product. We’ll see! I’m still allowing myself to be guided and align with what feels right for the next evolution of Flower Mama.
It’s fun to dream up possibilities and next steps! However, I am currently deep in the process of letting go of so much right now. I am moving from my own single studio apartment with ample storage space to a single room in a house with limited storage. Because I will not be farming, I have a lot of farm stuff that I am shedding as well, including over half my stock of potted perennials. This clearing feels right and aligned even though letting go is always a bit challenging. The energy behind September, Virgo season, and the transition of summer into fall is very supportive of this. Thankfully, I don’t feel too overwhelmed or stuck. I’m simply doing what I can day by day and breathing through the process.
What is clear is that I will have much more space to uncover more hidden potential within myself. I hope that you’ll continue to follow along my journey and keep in touch. I have a lot more to bring to my community than just flowers and I’m excited for new beginnings.