These past few weeks have been a bit challenging for me, but I’ve gained some valuable insights and thought it may be worthwhile to share. Perhaps you might get your own ah-hah moment through reading.
The events that brought about my new sense of awareness happened to be centered around my new home and my relationship. I was just starting to feel settled and solid in both of these areas of my life until the rug was swept from under my feet. Within two days of each other, I all of a sudden did not feel in control of either. Nothing actually too terrible happened and the details of these events don’t matter, but just the fact that I felt blindsided by both and it left me speechless and feeling a lack of control.
After some good ol’ grieving, which I realized was necessary to make space within myself for healing, I realized exactly why this happened. At first, I was so distraught and thought WHY oh WHY is this happening to me!? Haven’t I been through enough? I placed myself in the victim role and was having a pity party for myself.
After a long chat and an energy session with one of my good friends, I realized:
These events are not happening TO me, they are happening FOR me.
That was a big perspective shift. As my friend put it, “this was the only way the universe could get your attention!” That it did. So what was I being invited to shift within myself?
I tend to try and control my life and my environment through my words, thoughts, and actions. I go, go, go and I do, do, do to keep all things functioning right and properly in my life. This is very throat chakra based. This is all I’ve ever known how to be and it’s very natural. However, we are never truly in control of our lives and I got a good smack upside the head by the universe about that. I was clearly being inviting into a NEW way of being. This new way of being has the energy centered in the heart and womb space otherwise known as our creative center. This new way of being is all about attracting what we want in life or rather, what’s truly aligned with our souls higher purpose. It’s about being magnetic and radiating from the inside out.
Rather than controlling my life, I can create my life.
See the difference? It’s a subtle, but very profound shift.
Since this realization, I’ve really been working on embodying this new way of being. Whenever I feel thoughts racing or energy getting stuck in my throat, I breath it down. All I have to do is concentrate on my heart or womb space and pay attention to my breath and I’m there.
Additionally, I’ve been working on feeling more comfortable with my connection to the divine and my guides…particularly with speaking to them. Some people my like to call this God and Angels. Anyways, I’ve been finding it helpful to state my intentions and ask for guidance in the areas of my life I feel that I need it in. I do this through setting an alter and being present with it, through meditating, through pulling tarot and oracle cards, and through moving energy by EFT/tapping or journaling. I’ve had some profound moments where I feel like I’m being heard and I receive an answer back. I know it’s an answer back because I feel the energy in my body. It’s like the answer comes through me rather than being a thought in my own mind. Most of the time I don’t receive answers, at least not right away, and that’s okay! Simply stating my intentions and desires from a true, authentic place in my being is sending that energy out there. This is part of the art of manifestation.
More than ever, I’m being called to just Trust. This is so funny to me because the word I chose to focus on this year is Trust, and that’s something that came to me near the end of 2018. I don’t feel like I consciously chose that word, but nonetheless, we’re only in mid-February and I’m getting a huge dose of learning how to Trust.
I haven’t always been a spiritual person. I will say that I’ve always felt a particular connection with gemstones, and obviously mother earth, but exploring myself as a spiritual and connected divine being was fostered through becoming a mother, through owning/running a business, and then through some of the hardships I’ve gone through. I almost feel like I’ve gotten a crash course these last 4-5 years, but it’s exciting because there is still so much to learn and shift within myself!
The universe never hands us more than we can handle. It may seem like it sometimes, so when you feel particularly challenged, I’d advise you to turn inward and ask, “what am I being invited to shift?” How am I supposed to grow from this experience? Because remember, things don’t happen to us, they happen for us. Every experience is here to serve us on our highest path and ultimately align us with our soul’s true purpose.
With love and light,